MUSIC AND NUDES I MEAN NEWS

I’m making a MUSIC VIDEO that is really beautiful and also GHETTO!!!  I just remembered I’m actually working on TWO or THREE or FOUR music videos!!!!! ALSO I am making a new MUSIC SECTION for the website – it will have ALL my stuff available for STEAMING.  I’m going ABSOLUTELY NUTS with the CAPS today.  It’s because I am SO EXCITED ABOUT LIFE.

Here’s some BIG NEWS:  We are playing a SHOW this FRIDAY at the MONTAUK MUSIC FESTIVAL!!!!!  SEXY!!!!!!!  We will be on at 8:00-9:00 PM at Sole East and 10:00PM – 12:30 AM Manucci s / Tipperary.

Here’s a FUN SONG!!!!! Such A Long Time Ago by ChrisMerritt

801-6-TEXT-CM

Send me a text at (801-6-TEXT-CM)!

What would you name a daughter? -Pat

Hmm.  I don’t know.  Definitely not Mary Marie Merritt.  That would be a horrible name.  Good names:  Danielle,  Heather,  Samantha,  Hanna.  Avoid names:  Bertha, Agnes, Gertrude, Gundula.

do you play weddings?

Yes!  Well, sort of.  I don’t really do typical wedding cover songs and stuff.  I also don’t want to freak out grandma.  But if you want a real, genuine Chris Merritt show at your reception, I love a Merritt wedding.  You also have to give me some money in exchange, or at least some free champagne.  Merritt weddings have been huge successes in the past.

Send me an email if YOU would like me to play your wedding, special event, or run-of-the-mill event, and we’ll talk! contact@chrismerrittmusic.com

i dont know what im doing or if you’ll get this or if this is fake or if im alive but if you are chris merritt and you’re reading this, your music is the best thing to have ever come about in this world in all of time. i can’t even comprehend

Man that’s awfully sweet.  And good news.  You’re alive!!!!
Working hard on a new ‘MUSIC’ section of the site – I can’t wait.  Almost done!  All Chris Merritt songs to stream, many to download, and you can “share” everything on the faced books and the twisters.

News + Tapes = Napes

Do you like upbeat, rock-and-roll-styled music concerts?  If you said “yes” to any of those question, come to New York City tomorrow night and watch my band sing all your Chris Merritt favorites!  Songs!  Want some info for the gig?  It’s at Bar East Ale Hous which is located on the Upper and Eastern side of New York City.  It will be at 9:30, PM.  Here’s the event on facebook and here is the tour page!

Goofin’ around in a piano lesson yesterday:

DownloadElevator

Here are some pretty bitches I found:

DownloadMally

DownloadOn My Own

Komix

Doin’ comics about my heroes.  Last week was Frank Black Francis.  Here’s a nuther:

It’s hard to fit everything I like about these guys in a single comic.  They take freakin’ forever to draw as it is.  Here are some links.

This is the best talk-show appearance in the history of man, and I’m not exaggerating (watch till the end):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GoLm-vD89SQ

Norm did the roast-thingee of Bob Saget.  One of the funniest things I’ve ever seen in my life.

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/b6b82a06aa/outtakes-from-bob-saget-roast-1-from-normmacdonaldfan

Unfortunately, most people don’t really seem to understand satire, including the deceptively named channel Comedy Central, who cut his brilliant performance from their actual show.

Norm explained later in an interview: “There was nothing outrageous in that at all. It was the opposite of outrageous, but a lot of people didn’t get it, even though it was a simple grade- two arithmetic concept. People thought I was mentally ill or something. It just occurred to me, because I didn’t really want to do it and Bob kept asking me to do it. And the producer told me it should be shocking. I watched a tape of it and saw everything on it was vulgar and filthy, so I thought the only shocking thing to do was the antithesis of that. So it’s pretty simple.”

More favorites:

Early stand-up: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bV4Bpgia8vM

New stand-up: http://youtu.be/_gC7KIdxyUs

Weekend Update:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pcj6AZMJvyE&feature=related

The View: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=otai1BhLSSM

Dirty Work (my favorite comedy film):http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nPXVCiT9rZU&NR=1

Geez, there’s lots.  The hours I’ve wasted away watching Norm MacDonald interviews.  Now I’m doing it again looking for good videos….ENOUGH!!  Back to work!!!!  Those songs ain’t gonna write themselves, now are they???  Although they probably will in the not-too-distant future.  Damn Kurzweil.

 

 

 

Komix / Tapes

HEROES – Issue #1

Drawin’ comics about my heroes.  I got a handful of ‘em.  People I look up to, emulate, respect in a profound way.  This week: Frank Black.

Click to see bigger.

Listen to the man:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uPXnUCn7SSs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jw8cXwlFDfk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kzsdttq5hdc

Pixies song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PIkWJZf33UY

Deeper:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k1yBMQ_bLng

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XVxUiArfPMk

Here’s a song I wrote about FB, sort of.  Specifically about lame album reviews.  When girly boys write about manly boys.  Is what I should have titled it.

Chris Merritt – Try To See The Good by ChrisMerritt

 

 

 

 

Tuesday Tapes

A new song called The Bump, the foundation of which comes out a Demo Of Nod called Sherlock Holmes.  This song is loosely about The Colbert Report, a television show with which the vast majority of my band is obsessed.  I started watching for research, and I think the man is a comedy genius.  Send him a tweet and a link!  @ColbertReport @StephenAtHome
The Bump by ChrisMerritt

Them old melancholies:

BrightNewDay

Sanctuary

Sunday Komix!!

Here are some comics from when I was in college!  I got really busy this week writing a song about The Colbert Report in my free time, so I couldn’t finish the comic (sorry Kristin – next week!).  By the way, I could only find two of these – does anyone happen to have any of these, from back in the Paperface days, or are they lost forever?  These made me laugh.  My past self made my present self laugh.  Weird.

Click for bigger.

strip016 strip017

Sunday Komix

Time for more illustrated autobiographical comedy stylings.

Friday Funmail

Thanks for your texts – send me in any freakin’ question you want via text message at 801-6-TEXT-CM.  (801-683-9826) Include your first name.  Or make one up.

my dad said your song “metaphor” gave him a headache. i told him it was because your songs are too lyrically elite for his feeble mind. was i wrong to say that?

I actually wrote that song to try and incite a headache in the listener, so I’m glad it worked.  In actuality, that was a demo I recorded long, long ago.  I’m amazed that you have it somehow.  Or was it a Tuesday Tape?  Either way, I agree with your dad.  But I love the “waffle-house town” part.  Here it is:

DownloadMetaphor

What was your inspiration behind the song ‘the mexican border’? And why is it so ridiculously amazing? -James Skipp

Thanks for the cool comment.  I think it was about depression, in a way.  I was in LA and practically suicidal for a while, not to bring the mood down.  I was just so young and slowly becoming aware that the world is incomprehensibly tragic.  OK, now I’m really bringing the mood down!  It was weird though, I really didn’t think I would make it to 24.  Pretty girls did not like me.  Fast-forward a year, I was in SLC feeling like king of the universe.  No sign of depression.  Pretty girls liked me.  Then I wrote that song about how life can go in waves like that, so if you’re depressed, just remember it will probably get a lot better, even if it takes a while.

Although, then it can get worse, too.  I’ve had big rearrangings and uprootings of friends and family and my whole life multiple times now.  It’s good though, you get stronger.  You start to forgive people more, and realize we’re all just morons.  There’s no fate or true love, you just have to do what you can.  I’m lucky enough to have a couple lifelong friends too, which is really more than anyone could hope for.  You know, the kind of friends you could make out with their mom and girlfriend at the same time and they would still probably be friends with you.

Wait, did I answer your question?  Sort of.  That’s better though, because I don’t want to explain the song too much.  It’s more magical that way.

Chris, can i get the backstory/inspiration for the song “always on my mind”? its one of my favs! Also how old were you when you were in paperface (or when you recorded rock scissors)? -Jazz

Always On My Mind started as a bunch of gibberish, like on a demo.  I just had the lyrics “always on my mind” in the chorus.  The verses were a bunch of like, gibberish.  Then I recorded a version with this awesome man named Carlos as Paperface was moving to LA.  I don’t know what happened to that version, but it was really great.  Then we tracked the version for Hello, Little Captain, and Carlos was going to track it again, but now we had this full band version of it, with Chris Walvoord (drums) and Fuji (bass) and I was going to track the vocals, and I thought, “oh crap, I need some words to say when I sing these notes”, a.k.a., “lyrics”.   So then I thought, what is always on my mind?   A special lady who I love and crap?  Like that hasn’t been done eight million times.  So I figured I would make it about money.  I was broke in Orange County at the time.  The OC.  Don’t call it that.

As for Paperface, I was like 19 or 20, MAYBE 21 when we recorded Rock, Scissors.  Crazy.  Freaking crazy.  Eight years later, I still think that’s a great little record.  It deserved more attention.  Jake Thro, Tristan Siple and I were a special trio (I think we probably weighed 300 pounds all together at the time).  I do feel like I’ve improved since then, too, which is a good feeling.  That’s my only goal, really, to get better.  I was young, so I couldn’t write lyrics to save my life.  Anything about love and life on that album is just embarrassing because I didn’t know anything about either of those things.  I was I also misused words and didn’t really put much effort into lyrics in general.  There wasn’t much meaning behind most songs.  The vocal performances are all one take.  The melodies are all above average, but all over the place, and too many notes.  The time signatures are interesting, but almost arbitrary.  All these things, not necessarily bad, and maybe part of the charm of the record, but I care about those things more now.

Although, I’ve got to say, the biggest lesson I get from hearing that record now – I LOVE the strings on that record, which I wrote, and Angela Baird (college girlfriend) performed.  Why haven’t I been putting strings on anything since then?  WHY??  It sounds so great.  Next record.  Virginia Is For Hoverers (Part III).  Strings all over the place.  Don’t let me forget.

what are “the legends of the potions” from that nick and kat wedding toast song? Im so intrigued. I want to hear a Chris Merritt song about them ala She Wolf or Sanctuary. Thanks! Chris McCulloh, of the Indiana you played a show for us we will never let you forget McCullohs.

Thanks for your question!  I will never forget you guys.  That was a blast.  I hope we can come back soon.  Please tell your mom I said hello!  The ‘legend of the potions’ is a pretty inside reference.  As a kid, my brother and I had two cousins, Nick and Francis, who were our age.  I don’t know how it started, but we used to go visit them every summer in Arizona.  It was such an amazing time.  It was sort of like, the older brothers, me and Francis, vs. the slightly younger brothers, Andrew and Nick.  Francis and I would make these ridiculous “potions”, as we called them.  We would mix things together – anything we could find that was interesting (bathroom chemicals, cleaning chemicals, bird crap, black widows, spider eggs, soda, wine, medicine) and try to get insane results.  I remember once we mixed a bunch of stuff together and our resulting potion burned our skin and melted a plastic spoon!  It was nuts.  Once, we made a brown potion and put it in the freezer in a YooHoo bottle, and Francis’ dad found it thirty minutes later and thought it was YooHoo.  Man, I’ve never seen him so mad.

So anyway,   then Andrew and Nick started making their OWN potions.  We started trying to steal each other’s best, most prized, potent potions.  Then we started hiding the potions from the other “team” and making secret maps with codes and stuff so we could find them later.  We started booby-trapping the potion hiding places, with sometimes disastrous results.  We’re talking big injuries.  I remember one incident, for example, we had a “fake” potion (not one of the really good ones) hidden in a tree, to distract from the real hiding spot, with some kind of pulley system that triggered concrete blocks to swing down.  It worked a little too well.  We got in trouble.  I remember actually feeling bad because Nick or Andrew got hurt pretty bad.  There were lots of broken limbs when we visited Nick and Francis!

Dear chris merritt, i know funds are low but are you planning on playing in utah any time soon? It would be nice… Your fan, jess dimas

Actually, I funds are NOT low! I don’t even know what to do with all my funds.  I’m eating sushi a lot and buying nice suits.  Wait, no, you’re right, I just checked, they are low.  Anyway, yeah, I need to get out there.  We’re having a booking meeting tomorrow.  Thanks for your question!

Hey can you post some of your sheet music up on your website?

In time, my friend……..in time.

Friday Funmail

Thanks for your texts!!  Send in a text-message question (it can be ANYTHING!) to 801-683-9826 (801-6-TEXT-CM).
What time signature(s) is Coney Island in…i cant figure it out! -Evan

The verse part is basically a 7/4 thing.  The drums are a consistent 7/4 in the verses and the keyboard/piano line is like a 7/8, but it feels like a 7/4 with the drums. The keys are playing eighth notes in groups of 3, 2, 2, 3, 2, 2, etc.  The chorus (where it gets a dancy back beat) is in common time (4/4), but as usual I tend to add measures and drop measures (not on purpose, but it’s just how I write.  I don’t know why.  No, I DO know why.  It’s more interesting and better and more people should stop being scared of dropped measures).  So the “I want to stand on the world like I’m a super king…” part has 5 measures, another 5 measures, and then it drops into a normal 4-measure cycle….I believe.
By the way, if you haven’t heard Coney Island yet, buy Songs From Brokeland for 5 measly bucks right here!
Chris, I used to catch your shows in Provo, UT, but I have moved to San Diego. Any chance you’ll ever do some shows in southern California?

Yes!  A big chance!  If we can somehow figure this crazy life out, we’ll be actually doing a proper tour soon.  We’re on the cusp of greatness.  We’re taking it by force.
Have you ever wore round glasses?

Negative.  Wait, no, I wore round glasses this Halloween.  I was Elton John.  By the way, the only costume I’m ever wearing from now on.  Every year, I’ll just be a more and more flamboyant Elton John.  I think we’re probably related or something.  He looks like he could be my brother.  Or sister.
Are you googoo for GaGa?

No.
Would you be extremely upset if I sent in your songs to the radio here in Portland? We dig indie music and I’d love to hear good ish on the radio. – Nate

No way!  By all means, send all my music to any radio station anywhere, ever.  That goes for anyone!  Let’s get this stuff OUT there!  Fight the battle!  Show the world that people like good ish as well as sterile, dead-inside, poppy ish.
Have you ever seen the show Portlandia?  It’s great, I just saw it this week for the first time.
What would it take to get the sheet music for “the purple haze returns”?

Yeah.  I should do that.  Your best bet is to offer me money.  Seriously.

Can I commission you to create a rap/r&b song in the style of Chris brown/outkast. I would want it to be way over-produced and slightly auto-tuned. I really want this. I am willing to pay $40(usd). I am serious about this, so please consider my offer. Seriously, your cousin nick.

I’ll do it for free.  I think I owe you 40 bucks for something……oh yeah!!  The video contest!!!  We run a tight ship here at Merritt Enterprises.  Check out Nick’s great video here.